Ch. 29 Prospects

Going to a gay bar with Chad was still uncomfortable for Spencer, especially because he was cute and because he got most of the attention which didn’t seem to bother him.  It was the muscled build and the close cut hair, Spencer told himself.

“So how are things with your roommate?”

“That was a total disaster.  I kind of freaked out on him and he didn’t deserve it and I apologized to him but it doesn’t feel the same.”

“Is he still living there?”

“Yeah, but we don’t talk much.  It’s kind of this awkward silence.  I keep thinking I have something to say to him, you know, but it won’t come out right.  I think it’s over.  It’s like a Cold War and we’re just going to have to part ways.”

“Do you still like him?”

“Yeah,” Spencer said.

“Then you should give it another chance,” Chad said.

“How do I do that?”

Chad took a sip from his drink. 

“You should apologize again,” Chad said.  “But mean it this time.”

“Hey, I meant it last time.”

Chad rolled his eyes and sat back.  He crossed his arms and looked away.

“What?  You don’t think so?”

“I think you said what needed to be said but I don’t think it was a really, sincere apology.  Sometimes you have to apologize more than once.  My wife and I both have been there with each other.  When you can apologize the second time then it’s real.”

“But he doesn’t even want a relationship with me.  He wants to go back to that, that asshole, that monster and it’s like, so frustrating, I can’t even stand it.  Who does that?”

Chad shook his head.

“We are all in unequal power relationships all of our lives, sometimes we mistake abuse for love, at least he has another option and you are giving him that.  Some people have no resources, hey, at least he stayed.”

“I think that had more to do with Triston than me,” Spencer said.

“But it gave you another chance.  I’m not saying he’ll accept your apology or that you will end up happily ever after.  I’m just saying you should be a man and do it.”

“And when was the last time you apologized twice?” Spencer asked.

“When I lost my job,” Chad answered.  “I said it that day and I said it just a few days ago because I can’t find work.”

“Nothing?”

“That I want to do.  My best option right now is security.  I go from being a protector of people to being a protector of stuff.”

“There’s always gay porn,” Spencer said.

“The money isn’t regular enough and besides I want to run for public office some day,” Chad said.

“Really?”

“No,” Chad said.

“You wouldn’t have to take it up the ass,” Spencer joked.

“It’s not my style,” Chad said.  “I didn’t really like it.  You gay guys are tough.”

Spencer stopped himself from spitting out his drink.  He swallowed.

“Uh?”

“It happened once.  Okay, technically twice, but the first time was a surprise and the second time was, well, more voluntary but it didn’t feel good.”

“Uh,” Spencer said.

“The prostate is one thing but having something inside you is too much, well for me it is,” Chad said.

“No uh, I can understand that,” Spencer said.

“Really?”

“We’re not all like obsessed with it.  Some of us like it and some of us don’t.”

Chad nodded.  They looked at each other awkwardly before looking away and letting out nervous laughter.

“Is that true what you just told me?”

“Completely, but let’s never talk about it again.  And if you tell anyone I’ll deny it.”

“So guys don’t do it for you?  You aren’t, like, bisexual?”

“Sorry no,” Chad said.

“But you’re comfortable in your sexuality?  What about a job here?”

“What?”

“Yeah, gay bars hire anyone as long as they’re cute.  You’d make good tips, especially if the guys can’t have you.”

“Come on,” Chad said.  “I worked as a bartender once but that was mostly dealing with beer.”

“You’re not doing anything else,” Spencer said.

“It would be easy.  I could work part-time and go back to school and finish my bachelor’s degree.”

“See, that’s what I’m talking about.  Come with me, I kind of know the owner.”


“What?  No, not really, I couldn’t.”

“Come on,” Spencer said before standing. 

He moved to Chad’s side and began to pull at his arm playfully before Chad got up and began to walk with him.  They made their way through the bar towards the back and the manager’s office.