Ch. 28 Collisions

When an accident happens it’s a strange thing because it’s easy to take life’s mundane predictability for granted, Walter thought, but then something happens, you were on your way somewhere and wham, you get hit from behind.  That was what happened to Darrell who sat a few feet away from him nursing a soda and slowly eating a sandwich. 

Walter bit at the skin of his thumb as he thought about the phone call and the way they all went to the hospital for him, gathered around his bed, and promised to help him.  He had been silent then, even though he wanted to say something.  He wanted to promise but it just all felt like too much and the words got stuck in his throat.  It didn’t matter, he told himself, because actions are better than words.

Being a college student he had the most free time, somehow the responsibility had fallen to him, for some reason he volunteered for it.  Mostly it meant sitting around with him watching television, which was fine by Walter, especially since Darrell didn’t mind when he wore a diaper and a onesie, but dealing with the medication made him nervous, and helping him exercise was even worse.

He was happy Darrell could get to the toilet alone and take care of himself in the bathroom.  Walter hated the idea of having to do any of those things for him.  Cooking and cleaning, watching television, and keeping track of the medication was more than enough. 

Walter looked to the clock on the wall and sighed.  Darrell was due for an exercise period.  Luckily Walter had missed the one in the morning.  He debated on letting it go but then he thought about the consequences and forced himself to tell Darrell who begrudgingly agreed before trying to push himself up.  Walter moved to help him down to the floor and onto his back.  Walter moved to his feet that were bare and took hold of his ankles.  He looked down to see Darrell was in a pair of shorts instead of his usual sweat pants.

He worked one leg, then the other, in extended motions before pressing each up to Darrell’s chest and pulling it back out.  He worked it in all the ways Triston had showed him.  He pushed down on Darrell’s leg one last time to hold the knee to his chest before he pulled out and up to stretch it.  His shorts to fell down into his crotch revealing his briefs.  Walter’s face turned red and Darrell coughed.

“Sorry,” Darrell said.

“Don’t worry about it,” Walter replied.

“It’s not, I mean you, it’s just.”

“Don’t worry about it this doesn’t even feel remotely sexual,” Walter said.

“I wasn’t thinking,” Darrell said.  “It’s because it’s warm in here and I didn’t have anything else.”

Walter shrugged his shoulders.

“There’s times I’m in just a diaper,” he said.

“It’s different,” Darrell said.

“Well, trust me, I’m not getting anything out of this,” Walter said.

Darrell rolled his eyes and promised himself that next time he’d make sure to wear long pants.  Walter continued with the exercise until he had done everything he could remember to do, then he helped Darrell back up to his chair.  He helped Darrell get adjusted, made sure everything was how he liked it and asked him if he wanted some ice cream.  Darrell refused but Walter said he was going to get some for himself.

He went into the kitchen and made himself a banana split with hot fudge and caramel toppings, a sprinkle of nuts, and a cherry on top.  He was satisfied by the completion of his snack and was about to head back into the living room when there was a knock at the door.  Walter set down his dish and went to answer it.  He opened the door to find a delivery man in the hallway. 

At first he looked surprised, but then he smiled, amused somehow, and finally he cleared his throat and became more serious as he handed over the tablet that Walter took and signed.  He handed the tablet back and took the package, watched as the delivery man turned and walked away, shook his head.

Walter felt his stomach tighten.  That man would make him the butt of jokes.  He wouldn’t just be another faggot but one dressed like a child, an immature one at that.  He closed the door, set the package on the counter, and got his banana split.  He walked into the living room where Darrell sat with his head against his fist contemplating something.  It was probably a drink, Walter thought.

He took a deep breath and puffed up his chest.  That delivery man was just another stranger, his judgment was just his inability to deal with other people’s differences.  The diaper suddenly felt odd against his body and yet he wasn’t going to take it off or give it up.  This is who I am and life is short, he told himself.  He looked to Darrell, and we never know what is going to happen next.