The Unicorn was crowded. Everyone was there for the wet underwear contest. Sitting at a table in the front of the audience was Spencer, Triston, Vincent, and Josh. Vincent and Triston sat next to each other with their fingers intertwined, across from them was Spencer and Josh a foot apart. Spencer had his arms crossed. Josh looked away in boredom.
“I can’t believe they’re going to do it. Doesn’t this feel wrong?” Spencer asked.
“It’s just a contest,” Triston replied. He turned to the table. “Besides, Bobby is a dancer here. It’s no big deal for him.”
“It still feels wrong. I mean I avoid the place when I know he’s working.”
“You’ve seen him naked plenty of times,” Triston said.
“Yeah but this different,” Spencer replied.
His concern, their conversation, got the attention of Vincent and Josh who both leaned in to the table.
“Think of it like a dance contest.”
“This isn’t the ballet. Walter and Bobby are going to be grinding on each other.”
“What are they doing?” Vincent asked.
“Yeah, what are they doing?” Josh asked.
“It’s a dance routine. It’s from these two movies from the Philippines, Macho Dancer and um... what’s the other one?”
“Midnight Dancers,” Spencer said.
“I’ve never seen them,” Vincent said.
Josh shook his head.
“These Philippine guys dance with each other, some of them are supposed to be straight, but they have this whole routine where they use water and soap and pour it on each other as they stand in this tub. Usually they wear white briefs but sometimes they’re naked.”
“White briefs?” Josh asked. “Give me a pair of Andrew Christian, that would be hot.”
“Andrew Christian is the black panties of gay men. You only wear them when you want to get laid.”
“No way, they’re an everyday thing. Why wouldn’t you want to feel sexy?”
“I don’t know if I could focus on anything,” Vincent said.
“My everyday wear has to be more ordinary,” Spencer said.
Triston was about to add his opinion when he saw Darrell stepping to their table still dressed in his work clothes. He watched as the man sat heavily in his chair and leaned onto the table and decided to try and distract him.
“We need you to settle an argument. Spencer here is saying that Andrew Christian underwear is the black panties of gay men's fashion whereas Josh believes they can be an everyday item.”
“Not everyday,” Darrell replied. “They’re too form fitting for that.”
“See, that’s what I was thinking,” Vincent replied.
“I wouldn’t want to think about working at my office wearing them,” Spencer said.
“Okay, if Andrew Christian is the black panties then white briefs are definitely the grannie panty. They have form, they have function, and they have utility,” Josh said.
“You just think that because your generation is obsessed with boxers which are the most nonsexual of all undergarments. They’re flat, generally shapeless, and most common thing for actors on TV who don’t want to show a little.”
“Okay, the jock is definitely a Friday night kind of wear but the regular ones... white briefs are cheap and only to be worn under clothes, not to be seen in the light of day.”
The rest of the group looked to Josh who raised his eyebrows as he sipped from his beer. They laughed and turned away, looked up to the stage. Some of the tension between them was broken and when the host, a tall drag queen in a blue sparkled dress, stepped onto the stage they were focused on something else.
“All right everyone, welcome to the Unicorn’s fifth annual wet underwear contest, now just remember no cameras, security will be standing by to help anyone who uses one. They’ll show you how to use the delete button and then kick your ass to the curb.”
The crowd booed.
“It’s not my policy. It’s just some of the amateur dancers are a little shy and don’t want their faces out there while showing their goods. But I’d show you everything and we can take all the pictures you want, just see me after the show.”
The crowd laughed.
One by one the host introduced each of the contestants who stepped on stage in a pair of briefs, different brands and different colors except Walter and Bobby who stood in identical white Calvin Klein briefs. Their bodies were very different. Bobby was muscled and Walter was skinny, though slightly athletic.
The host moved them through the paces, eventually each pair danced together until it got to Bobby and Walter who carried out a metal tub and several pitchers of water. The dance music started to play and they moved to each other still nervous to be seen, to touch each other, especially in front of a crowd, but they were committed.
They became comfortable with each other as they danced chest to chest, grabbed hold of each other. They had practiced wearing exercise clothes. Bobby turned Walter and moved him the tub where they stepped inside. Bobby picked up the pitcher of water and began to slowly pour it over Walter’s chest. The crowd cheered. Spencer whistled.
They were grinding on each other for a long moment before they switched places. Bobby was almost completely dry. Walter poured the water along his chest and shoulders causing it to highlight the definition of his muscles. The crowd went wild. Walter scooped up more and poured it over Bobby’s chest, down his abs, and over his briefs that once wet clung to the young man’s form and became translucent.
Bobby turned and they nuzzled with each other as they continued to dance. Spencer, Triston, Vincent, and Josh were on their feet with the rest of the crowd who cheered and yelled, whistled and screamed.
Spencer moved to Josh and whispered in his ear, “What do you think now? Still think they shouldn’t be seen in the light of day?”
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