Ch 23 - Mistakes

With his hands in the pockets of his hooded jacket Chad leaned back against the building with his head down and one foot against the wall.  He looked haggard and miserable as he stood there with a lollipop in his mouth. 

Spencer had spotted him from a distance and pulled to the curb.  Chad had sounded desperate on the phone and deeply saddened as if someone had died.  They looked to each other and Chad pushed away from the building and walked to Spencer’s car where he got in on the passenger side but didn’t speak even as he buckled his seat belt and Spencer pulled into traffic. 

“So, are you going to tell me what’s going on?” Spencer asked.

“Well, do you remember how I told you about that guy at work?”

“The one who called you fire crotch,” Spencer answered.

“Exactly, well, I punched him.  He had it coming.  He was on me, like literally, over my shoulder.  He was really getting to me and he knew it.  I shoved him away and he shoved back.  He wanted it.  I just hit him and he went down.  I don’t think he expected that, to go down so easily.  I think he’s going to sue the department.”

“Really?”

Chad nodded.

“I’ve been suspended and maybe I’ll be fired.  There’s a union and some of the guys are on my side as witnesses but it’s so frustrating.”

“Do you even want to go back?”

“What?  What are you saying?”

“I just, I mean, it seems like you didn’t really enjoy it, being a cop.  I mean your wife said the guys were kind of assholes and you didn’t get along with them and I mean I never heard you really talk about liking it.  You liked the idea of it but being a cop, dealing with your coworkers.”

“I’m too sober for this,” Chad said.

“Me too,” Spencer said.  “How about a night of drinking?  You call Lucy and I’ll call the guys.”

Minutes later they were back at the apartment building where Spencer parked in the guest area and they were headed up to the guys’ apartment.  Lucy was there in the hallway playing a game on her phone.

“I managed to find a sitter,” she said.  “I kind of had feeling, a hope, this might happen.”

Spencer walked to the door, unlocked it with his key, and opened it.  Inside he was surprised at the sight of Walter and Bobby in the kitchen.

Walter stood in his diaper at the kitchen counter.  Bobby was beside him in a matching one.  They were making vodka and orange juice screwdrivers.

Chad stepped into the apartment and looked to the young men who looked back over their shoulders and smiled.

“It’s a party thing,” Spencer said.

“Sorry I didn’t get the notice or I would have worn my onesie,” Chad said.

“Really?” Spencer asked.

“No, I don’t have a onesie.  I sleep naked.”

Spencer looked away to the padded, covered asses of the two young men, cleared his throat and coughed.

“We’re going out for a drink,” Spencer said.  “It’s kind of an emergency.  Chad might get fired from his job.”

“Who all is going?” Walter asked.

“Me, Darrell, Chad, Josh, and Lucy... uh, Triston is going to stay here and I guess Bobby is staying too.”

Walter shrugged his shoulders.

“Hey, look I’m sorry, really it’s an emergency thing, but, I got you a present,” Spencer said. 

He opened his satchel bag and pulled out a wrapped, small gift which he gave to Walter who immediately opened it to find a small, thin but ornate book.

“Leaves of Grass?” Walter asked.

“Walt Whitman,” Spencer said.  “Super gay, lots of writing about naked young men and vulnerability.”

“Thanks,” Walter said.

“No problem,” Spencer said. 

Walter added it to the pile of birthday cards he had received from each of the guys, his parents, and friends.  It wasn’t long before the four of them were leaving, taking with them for a moment all of the energy from the room.  Walter looked down to his drink, to Bobby, and then to Triston.

“Hey, we can still have fun,” Triston said.

“Yeah, no problem,” Walter said.  I should be used to this by now, he thought.

Hours later, Walter was on his stomach staring up at the television.  Beside him Bobby was on his back also trying to watch but clearly more intoxicated.  Triston sat in on the couch behind them focused on the screen as well.  They were all in a warm, dark comfort.  A now familiar jazz style theme song played from the speakers.

“I don’t know how I let you talk me into wearing this thing,” Bobby said. 

“I dared you,” Walter said.

“I mean it’s kind of like thick briefs.  They cover all of the same areas but it’s different.”

“You can take it off if you want,” Walter said.

“No, I’m okay,” Walter said.  “I’m drunk enough I might just pee in it.  It’ll make it easier.”

“Well, I’m not cleaning it up,” Triston said.

“I’ll help you,” Walter replied.

There was a commotion in the hallway, laughter and stumbling.  Darrell’s voice, then Chad, Spencer, Josh, and Lucy.  They got to the door and Triston let out a sigh as he searched for the remote control.  He found it just in time to pause the show before they burst through the doorway.  Darrell was the only sober one.  They turned on the lights further breaking the illusion, the common feeling.

Spencer, Josh, and Darrell went to the kitchen while Chad and Lucy made their way into the living room where she helped him to the couch then sat beside him, between him and Triston.  She looked to the two young men who stared back at her.  She saw their diapers and smiled.

“I want to have another child one of these days,” she said.

Ch 13 - DL Isn't Just for Down Low

“Before we get on the road I want to make sure I got the right air in my tires,” Walter said.

“It’s your car,” Darrell said. 

He was trying to keep his cool about any small thing because his car was in for repairs and he needed to visit his mother.  Walter had not only offered to drive him but help him to move her furniture as well.

Walter pulled off the highway and drove to the nearest gas station where he pulled to the air pump.  Darrell watched him for a moment as he shifted to park, turned off the car, retrieved the pressure gauge from the glove compartment, got out, and began to check the air in the tires.  He decided he would get snacks and got out as well.  He walked to where Walter was crouched.

He watched as Walter worked the gauge skillfully before he stepped closer to ask him if he wanted any snacks when he spotted the young man’s shirt was riding up his back, his jeans were open, and he took the opportunity to see his underwear when he spotted something he wouldn’t have expected.  He spotted the puffy, shiny band of a diaper.

Darrell was shocked by what he saw but also amused.  He had never heard about Walter having any bowel problems, no this was something else.  He wanted to laugh out loud, wanted to say something, make a comment, but he stopped himself.  He decided to ask what Walter wanted from the store instead.

“Nothing thanks,” Walter said.

Darrell turned and walked away to the store.  He made his way inside and to the back where he laughed to himself.  But as funny as it was he was having second thoughts about taking the young man to his mother’s home.  What if he did something weird?  What would she think of him?  How could he explain he knew Walter without being his friend or worse, his lover?

As much as he worried about being there with Walter he worried more about his mother being upset about him not visiting after he had to miss the previous weekends because of work and being hungover.  No, he had to go, but maybe he could make some rules with Walter or make a deal with him.

Darrell made his way to the clerk where he paid for his items, then back out into the sun and to where Walter leaned back against his car.  It wasn’t obvious from the look of his jeans that Walter was wearing anything but he knew, had seen them, and he couldn’t help but think about them.  He thought about the road trip and the woman who wore diapers so she wouldn’t have to stop while driving across country to kill someone.

Walter got inside the car and for a moment Darrell thought he heard the squish of the diaper.  He looked to the young man who looked back at him.

“What?” Walter asked.

Darrell took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t going to say anything.  I mean I don’t usually care what people do but we’re going to see my mother.”

Walter stared at him as Darrell gathered his courage.

“Are you wearing a diaper?”

Walter’s face turned red and he looked away. 

“Why are you wearing a diaper?”

Walter shrugged his shoulders.

“Why are you wearing a diaper today?”

“I like them.  Okay?” Walter said.
   
“I’m trying not to judge you.  Why today?  Why now?  You’re driving me to my mother’s to help me move furniture.”
   
“I don’t know.  I just felt nervous and they make me feel better.”
   
Darrell regretted the next thought that came to his mind but he figured he would be in the car with Walter for an hour each way, plus any time they spent together at the house moving furniture. 

“You’re not going to shit yourself are you?”

Darrell felt as shocked at his own question as he could tell Walter looked.  He wanted to take it back.  He wanted to excuse himself, apologize, and yet there was some reality to dealing with a situation.  Walter was young, impulsive and he didn’t know him very well.  Darrell felt worse when he saw Walter’s body get tense as if he were about to cry.

“I’m sorry,” Walter said.

“What?”

“I fucked up.  I’m sorry.  I just, I don’t know, got used to them.  I can take it off.”

Walter looked to Darrell and Darrell looked away, he suddenly felt worse.